This is the title of a podcast episode I came across from Amy Taylor Kabbaz recently. I was scrolling for something else but this jumped out.
When I’ve personally invited some mama’s in my village to come try circle, I have at times been met with statements like “𝘰𝘩 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘦”, or “𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐’𝘮 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦” or “𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 (𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨) 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦/𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯”.
Now I am not dismissing these sorts of reasons. Sometimes we really need to feel into what will fill us up, what our nervous system needs, and make a call on it. Sometimes that will be time alone or not being open in a group setting.
However, the reasons for the no, as Amy discusses actually stems from our “𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽.”
Amy goes on to discuss how as women, we have always been taught to compete with each other, many of us having a history of being bullied, feeling different or fighting with other women for resources.
This history alone can make it hard for women to trust that a circle space is a safe container. We are so use to being in spaces with other girls/women when we have been spoken over, given unwanted opinions and advice and been rejected.
Even for those mamas who have bravely come and joined my circles/gatherings I have witnessed how hard it is for them to take up space. To spend longer than 2 minutes actually discussing and voicing what they wish too. I see them apologise over and over for either crying, swearing or taking up too much time! As Amy explains our nervous system is so activated it wants to stop us from talking.
𝙃𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙞𝙧𝙘𝙡𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙪𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙙, 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙙, 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 “𝙛𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙙”, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚.
So mama, with that in mind, I ask you, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗺𝗮’𝘀 𝗚𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝘀?
Feel free to send any questions you have or any requests you need to help your decision in joining us.
We meet the last Sundays of Feb, March and April in Seaford! 
Tickets via Events page on website.
𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵 x
PS. For full podcast check out Happy Mama Movement with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz ep. 171
